Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Happy Easter, friends

You know, I was thinking of my grandmother recently. Don't know why, but I do remember her talking to me once when I was a child.  Well, a few times really, but this particular time, it was  just before Easter and I was about 5. "Katie, if you are very good and eat up all your vegetables, do you know what will happen on Easter Sunday morning?"  I glanced up from my biography of Churchill and replied in the negative.

I remember her then smiling and giving me a big huggly-wuggly-snuggly and confiding that if the above conditions were fully satisfied and if I tried to be that rarest of things - a good girl - a giant rabbit would hop into my bedroom on said Easter morning and give me a large egg made out of chocolate.

She then grinned and nodded wisely.  And I can clearly remember thinking, as I stared at her loving face, how absolutely great it will be when I am a grown-up, because then I too will be able to take powerful hallucinogenic drugs just like her.

The Easter Bunny???   The what???

By the way …. have you noticed how early they’re putting hot cross buns and Easter eggs on the shelves? Seriously, if I had a can of worms, I would be cracking it open right now.

It’s been driving me crazy since New Year’s Day when I stumbled into a supermarket with a hangover so big, it had it’s own mushroom cloud, only to be greeted by the sight of rows of shiny Easter eggs.

Wow … did I have that much to drink? I’ve woken up 4 months later. Shit, I’ve missed Valentine’s Day and more importantly, now I’ll never know who killed evil Karl on Eastenders. (Is he dead or lost in the Queen Vic??)

Even by the standard of supermarkets that seem intent on turning the twelve days of Christmas into the twelve months of Christmas shopping, January 1 seems a tad early. Are petrol prices that high that Santa and the Easter Bunny have to share a ride?

I’m not having a go at Easter here. Like anyone, I love nothing more than commemorating the death of Jesus by eating chocolate eggs delivered by a magical bunny (just like it says in the Bible, tho I think someone was smoking the burning bush that day).  But do we really need four months of celebrations? How difficult can the Easter Egg hunt be? Let’s be honest here, if you told kids that he had a stash of chocolate, Bin Laden would have been found in days!

At least with Christmas, people might need time to shop and save, but does this apply for Easter?

I know it might seem a trivial matter, but I really think it reveals much about our society’s dependence on instant gratification.

Seriously though, it’s not just the time suction that’s bugging me, it’s the complete commercialisation of Christianity. I just find it all a bit tacky.

If they’re willing to flog Easter Eggs for four months, what’s next? “Remember, this weekend we solemnly remember the death of the Lord who died on the cross for our sins …. Speaking of crosses, we have massive discounts in the hardware section all weekend.”

And if the supermarkets are making a buck, it won’t be long before the big corporations cash in on it too. “We all love the story of feeding the masses with loaves and fish. Here at McDonalds, we’ll be celebrating all week with our Fillet o’ Fish McMiracle Meal Deal. Would you like absolution with that?

Can I take this opportunity to wish all my friends a happy Easter and I hope said magical bunny delivers plenty your way. Love you all. xxx

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