Sunday, 10 September 2017

Ho hum ... Another cold

One of the most embarrassing things in life is when you become the thing you used to hate. That's why it absolutely pains me to admit that I drive a 4 wheel drive.

Yep folks, I am one of those road-hugging, petrol guzzling, enviroment destroying, talk on the mobile while driving, complete and utter tossers who drive a 4WD in the city.

Hi, my name is Katelyn and I'm a tool.  For some reason I can't remember, when I went and got ths car, I decided I needed a 'truck' to go off road in. I've had it for a bit of time now, and the only time I've come close to going off road, is when I stuffed up a reverse park and ended on the nature strip.

Let's be honest here, the only bush bashing I've ever done involved an ex US president and the closest I have ever gotten to driving through creeks or busting through sand dunes, is when I occasionally forget to slow down for a speed hump.  I feel increasingly stupid driving a 4WD, when I never take it into the country.

Do you know, you can even buy spray-on dirt now so that you can give your 4WD that off-road look, even if you've never been anywhere near th back country?

I live in the city. Why do I need a 4WD anyway? So I can get to the next set of traffic lights faster???

Grrrrr

I'm going off the topic again. I wasn't going to talk 4WDs.

What I was going to mention, I've got a damn cold!  I was going to the chemist to buy something for it.

Have you ever noticed, when you get a cold, it's never really just a cold?  It seems like I'm convinced for some reason or other, that I have bird flu.  It's amazing how a cold can turn us into complete babies.

I also noticed I've become really rude to people.  "Oh, you've got a cold! Don't give it to me." Yeah, that's what I was going to do. I feel so great, I want to share it!

What really makes me grumpy is that I can't believe, in this day and age, we still don't have a cure for th common cold. Surely our brainy boffins should spend a little less time trying to fit a camera, MP3 player and microwave into our mobile phones and a little more time trying to cure our colds. It's a screwed up world that offers more nasal sprays to give guys an erection than there are to unblock our noses.

Of course, there being no cure didn't stop my friends suddenly thinkng they all had medical degrees.
'You've got to eat more garlic' they advised. Oh, you bloody think so!  I had garlic tablets and ate garlic mushrooms and garlic bread, but they didn't prevent my cold. However on the up side, I became totally immune to vampires. On the downside, males kept away from me.

"Have you taken some echinacea?" What?  It sounds like somewhere I would go for holidays.

So finally after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I dragged myself off to the doctor who took one look at me and said "Oh you've got a cold. Go back to bed."

Well thank God I got a medical opinion!  I'm going back to bed!



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