Hi boys and girls,
The other day I received an invitation and was really excited until I spotted the words that fill me with dread. Nope not "bring your own booze". Worse. "FANCY DRESS".
Look, I don't mean to be a party pooper, but to me fancy dress means putting on my tracky daks and a t-shirt with no stains.
While I do concede that fancy dress parties certainly have their moments, overall I find them daunting, particularly because I'm forever putting my foot in it. Put it this way, you should always check tha someone is in costume before you comment on their outfit.
Plus, I have enough trouble recognising people at the best of times but once I've had a couple of drinks and they are dressed as the Incredible Hunk, it's a lost cause.
'Hi, I'm Kate'
'Yes I know Kate. I'm Paul from Staff Accounts. I hope you're remembering to keep your receipts or you'll make me angry, and you won't like me when I'm angry.'
For those readng this who have never experienced the joys of a costume party, there are some things you need to know.
Just like there's one burnt chip in every packet, and every boy band has an ugly member., there's always, always, a naughty nurse. Regardless of the theme, if it's aminals they're dressed as naughty grey nurse shark or religion it's naughty nurse who helped deliver Jesus in the manger.
My next tip is, try to be a little bit original. It's bad rolling up to a normal party and seeing someone with the same outfit as you, it's even worse when you're both dressed as Supergirl! Oh, and they're costume is better.
Another thing. If you are dressed as a horror character, you might want to arrange a lift home. You think it's hard hailing a taxi after a few drinks? Try it when you're dressed as Freddie from Nightmare on Elm Street. And with those hands, hitching might be a challenge.
I'm thinking about it.
Incidentally. Had a phone call the other day from a high school crush!
I'm not proud to say this, but I think there are a couple of boys I dated in school whom I'm technically still going out with because I didn't have the guts to break up with them. If you're one of those guys, I'm sorry and happy anniversary.