Sunday, 9 June 2013

Internet Games

I have a confession to make. From the time I first sat down at my computer to write this to when I actually typed these words, I’ve checked my e-mail three times. Now admittedly, part of this problem is because I’m a natural procrastinator. In fact, if I were a superhero I think I’d be Procrastinator Girl. "What’s that? Someone’s in trouble? OK, I’ll be there as soon as I make myself a cup of tea, read the papers, sharpen pencils, have another cuppa, feed the dog, organize my CDs into alphabetical order, check my e-mail, type my name into Google and finally, have one more cup of tea. But mostly, I’m just addicted to turning on the computer and seeing "You have a new message".

The funny thing is, in my head, I’m not really sure what the appeal of e-mail is. After all, we have had a much superior invention around for decades. It’s called "the phone".

If e-mail had been around for 50 years, and we had just come up with the phone, then everyone would be like "Hey Kate, you’ve got to come and check out this new invention – it’s amazing. It’s just like e-mail, but you can actually talk to the person." Having said that, nowadays it seems that they’re inventing more and more phones you can type messages on, so what the hell do I know? I’m pretty sure if you give the latest mobile to 1000 monkeys they’d eventually SMS you the complete works of Shakespeare.

There are a couple of things that bother me with the World Wide Web. And not only that it’s abbreviation, www, has more syllables than just saying ‘world wide web’ (yes, I know, I should get out more). My first problem is the prevalence of adult content. Now I’m not Prudey McPrude, but it’s made it virtually impossible to look up anything without being redirected to a porn site. The other day Keith was trying to build a shelf for the kitchen, to hold some cups, so he innocently (?) typed the keywords "wood", "screws" and "jugs" into Google. Suddenly he was directed to sites that were less hardware and more hardcore.

Another thing that annoys me is spam. I really don’t need any penis enlarging pills or generic impotence treating drugs. Don’t you just love the e-mails with subject headers like "A message from a friend you haven’t heard from in a while". Then you open it up and discover it’s not from a friend you haven’t heard from in a while, because if you had a friend who could do that, they would be hearing from you all the time.

Which reminds me, I should check my in-box.

No comments:

Post a Comment