I had dinner with a good friend on Saturday night. He's a radio jock!! I'm not going to mention his name because if I do and he hears about it, it won't be pretty.
I must tell you he and his on-air partner did a phone interview with the lovely Nicole Kidman a couple of years ago, and he jokingly asked her to comment on the rumours about her love-life. She laughed and said the problem was that every time she was seen with a man, the media assumed they were having hot, steamy sex.
So my friend said "Well next time you’re in the country, why don’t you have a drink with me? It would be awesome for my reputation." That was probably the day she learnt a lesson – it’s all well and good to have fun, but don’t do it on tape – because she replied "OK, I’ll be in Oz at Christmas, let’s go for a drink then!" My friend said that they must have played that audio about 1000 times a week, to the point where even the guy who programs MASH thought they were repeating it a bit too much.
Anyway, Christmas came and the promised drink never eventuated, so in the New Year, when my friend spotted a picture of Nicole in the newspaper visiting sick children at a Melbourne hospital, he thought he’d have some fun.
On air the next day, he pounded the desk and said into the microphone "How dare you, Nicole Kidman. How dare you be seen with sick children when you’re meant to be having a drink with me".
He said the phone lines lit up like a Christmas tree, and his off-sider handed him the phone and told him it was Nicole Kidman on the line, ‘Yeah, sure’.
It was indeed Nicole who apparently was such a good sport. In the end, they agreed to meet at the local Return Servicemen’s Club and to his absolute surprise she actually went. Without any publicists or bodyguards. As he says, just one down-to-earth, smart, friendly and surprisingly funny Aussie chick having a few 1970-price beers. He said that he had to pay for all drinks, because, well … obviously they didn’t have change for a billion dollar bill at the local. HE SAYS that she told him that he was cute!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha! I said "Dude, be realistic. I’ve known you for years, I like you a lot, but even I would have to get very drunk to find you cute!"
I’m in charge of the laundry at our house. I like it, it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I understand the concept of sorting the colours and setting the dials. These are choices I can understand. I still haven’t figured out the remote controls on the TV or the DVD recorder, and as for Foxtel – forget it, but washing machines and dryers I can handle with some sort of skill. I love it when you take the clothes out of the dryer and there’s lots of static and you can hang the socks everywhere because they’ll stick there. (A neighbour caught me doing that once and gave me THAT look – you can’t always explain everything you do to everybody, you know!!)
Anyway, the washing machine died last week. I think I overloaded it with towels. I called a repair man to come in and fix it, knowing too well that if you call these guys you have to stay home and wait for 36 hours straight and have your bank manager standing by with a bank cheque, or else they won’t set foot on your property. Anyway, it's now Monday and he's still a no-show.
I wanted to change my hairstyle and I was looking for a new hairdresser in the telephone book because mine has gone interstate. Christ, check out these names. We have His and Hairs, Hair Majesty, Lunatic Fringe, Right Hair Right Now, Head Master, Curl Up and Dye, Avon Curling, The Perminator, The Best Little Hair House in Texas, Perms of Endearment, Good Head and my favourite – The Bald and the Beautiful!!!! I wonder if any of them can actuallyt cut hair. My usual hairdresser can get me in and out in 60 minutes, but when I rang to book at the new place they said "Make sure you allow three hours". Three hours?????? I don’t even want to do anything I enjoy for three hours. I’m sorry but I think you should be able to get your hair done in less time than it took Frodo and Sam to ditch the ring. I’ve seen cricket test matches that have gone on for less time than that. If I’m going to be there for three hours, I don’t just want a cup of coffee, I want a meal and a movie.
I got a really bad haircut last time I changed hairdressers. I’m sure you know the sort – it looks less like you got a professional to do it, and more like you lost a bet. Seriously, it looked like I was attacked by an epileptic Edwards Scissorhands. The main issue with my hair, if it hasn’t been cut for a while, it becomes very thick. If my hair had a personality, it would be David Beckham! Anyway, I’m a bit funny with new hairdressers. I love the guy that used to do my hair and for some reason, if I go to anyone else, it sort of feels like I’m having an affair.
That was most of the weekend covered.