I’ve discussed a lot of important things here over the past couple of weeks – sex, religion, politics and even Eoin Macken but I think this is by far the biggest: have you noticed how early they are putting Easter eggs in the supermarket?
Oh yeah, eat your hearts out all you hard hitting newsmen, I’m the only one who isn’t afraid to go after the big targets! If I had a can of worms, I would be cracking it open right now.
It’s been driving me mad ever since New Year’s Day, when I stumbled into the supermarket with my friends. All of us suffering a hangover so big it had its own mushroom cloud, only to be greeted by the shiny sight of Easter eggs.
For a minute I thought “Wow, I really had a lot more to drink than I thought. I’ve woken up 4 months later. I’ve missed Aussie Day and more importantly, now I will never know if Kat is screwing Derek on EastEnders.”
Even by the standards of supermarkets that seem to want to turn the 12 Days Of Christmas into the 12 Months Of Christmas Shopping, January 1st seems a tad early. Hang on a minute, is it because petrol prices are so high these days that Santa and the Easter Bunny need to share a ride?
I need to point out I’m not having a go at Easter here. Like everyone, I love remembering the death of the son of God in the traditional manner of eating chocolate eggs delivered by a magical bunny (you know just like it says in the Bible, although I think someone had been smoking the burning bush that day.)
But do we really need 3 – 4 months of celebration? I mean, how hard are parents going to make the Easter egg hunt this year? Even Sam and Frodo could find them in 3 months. Let’s be honest, if you told kids that Osama Bin Laden had chocolate, most of them could have found him.
At least with Christmas pressies, the shops can justify that some people need time to shop and save?
I suppose what really bugs me is the complete commercialization of Christianity. Now, I’m no God-botherer and I have never been know to bash a Bible that wasn’t asking for it, but even I find it all a little tacky. I mean, if they are willing to flog Easter eggs for 3 months, what’s next? “Remember this is the weekend that we solemnly remember the death of the Lord who died on the cross for our sins … speaking of crosses, we have massive discounts in the hardware section all weekend.”
And you know if the supermarkets are making a buck, it won’t be long before the big corporations try to cash in, too. You can just see the ads: “We all love the story of Jesus feeding the masses with loaves and fishes. At McDonalds we will be celebrating that all month with our Filet-o-Fish McMiracle meal deal.
Would you like absolution with that?”