Tuesday, 23 April 2013

The Wedding We're Not Going To Forget

Just wanted to tell you all of the most bizzare wedding I've ever been to.

It took place in London last week and the cast included Paul, groom and Emily, bride. However there was a cast of thousands, but one person stood out.

The central figure was the mother of the bride (MOTB).  Usually a polite, reasonable,  intelligent and sane human being.  

Nobody knew it, but this lady had been waiting with a script that would have met with Cecil B. DeMille’s approval.  And since it was her money, it was hard to say no to anything.  

The father of the bride began to pray for an elopement.  His prayers were not answered.  She (MOTB) had 7 months to work and no detail was left to chance.  Everything that could be engraved was engraved.  Everything that could be printed was printed and everything that could be bought was bought.  

There were teas, showers and dinners.  Then there were more teas, showers and dinners.

When I got married, I think we met with the minister maybe twice.  She called him weekly.  No-one was ever going to forget this wedding.  

So we arrived and by George, she had done it.  

It was an outside wedding and there was an 18 piece band playing softly in the background when the guests were arriving.  We were all seated and the wedding music started.  Nine – count them – 9 chiffon draped bridesmaids stepped down the aisle and then the bride herself.  

What you first noticed as she stood waiting to walk down the aisle was not her white dress (which, of course was beautiful), but her face – whiter than the dress!!  

Father started walking her down the aisle and just as she passed her mother, the bride threw up.  The mother fainted. Everyone rushed to help. Glasses of water were called for. Kids (and some adults) were laughing, Everyone was unnecessarily calling for an ambulance.    It was fantastic.  Only the Marx brothers could have topped it.  

They took her off to a room somewhere to get herself together and we all walked off for a smoke.  After an hour or so, the cast was re-assembled.  The bride, wearing a bridesmaid’s dress, tried again.  There was a lot of hugging from the groom, and a lot of tears from the bride.   MOTB was now whiter than white. Father was still laughing.  Finally the words were spoken and the dead was done.  

Everybody cried.  I think you’re supposed to.  Hey, I’ve been to wet weddings before, but this one turned into a communal bath!  

What a great wedding and the MOTB was right.  We were not going to forget this one!

1 comment:

  1. Communal bath?? I thought this only existed in Japan Lol!!